Unveiling : Take the Road Less Traveled By

It all started with Kairos, and a "birthday" scripture (my birth date) from Hosea (one of my favorite books).

Plant the good seeds of righteousness and you will reap a crop of my love; plow the hard ground of your hearts, for now is the time to seek the Lord, that he may come and shower salvation upon you.

Hosea 10:12

In October 2009, I was stuck in what felt like emotional and mental quick sand.  The more I fought it, the more I sank.  I was tired of being a mess, but didn't know how to not be... well... me.  After all, it was the only me I knew how to be.  Andrew and I had been married for nearly a year and a half, and we were both ready to be rescued.  Ready to feel as if we weren't in a sink-pit keeping us stagnant in our walk with God.  It was time to break free.  It was time to grow up and move on.

We went through a series at church called, Overwhelmed by Grace.  The series rocked me in so many ways.  It was as if I heard the message of grace for the very first time.  No one had ever explained it to me.  No one told me that God loved me even when I messed up.  He wasn't a mean Father who leaned away from me when I slipped, but He ran toward me to pick me up, comfort me, dust me off and say, "Hey you don't have to slip again... I can help you with that."  He was a God who considered me righteous whether I behaved that way all of the time or not.  It wasn't what I did, but it's who I was that made me righteous all along. 

When I read the scripture in Hosea, tears immediately poured from my eyes.  The Holy Spirit gently comforted my heart as He broke it down bit by bit.

• Plant the good seeds of righteousness and you will reap a crop of my love... It is He who makes me righteous.  Seeds of righteousness ooze out of who I am... my only job is to be purposeful in planting those seeds.  His love is mine... because of who He is.  It's not dependent on me.

• Plow the hard ground of your hearts, for now is the time to seek the Lord... I was ready for some plowing.  I pictured my heart as a garden and was ready for all of those weeds to be torn out at the root!  My heart was after Him.  To know Him and to love Him with everything in me.  

• That He may come and shower salvation upon you...  I saw myself standing outside in the middle of a summer rain shower.  The sun was peaking through the clouds as the rain washed all of the dirt - the residue of life - off of me.

That was that.  No turning back.  Right there in that moment, I surrendered my heart and said do whatever it takes, God.  I want to know You and be known by You (as if I could hide from Him anyway, right?).  The posture of my heart changed.  I surrendered and opened my heart up to Him and gave Him full access and authority to destroy whatever was in there that was not who He created and died for me to be.  Was it painful?  Oh heck yes.  Was it easy?  No way, not even once.  Am I the same person I was in October 2009?  Nope.  Am I discovering who God planned for me to be all along?  Yes!!  Is it worth the pain and surrender?  Absolutely.

Will you take the leap of faith of trusting God with your whole heart?  Will you be vulnerable and honest enough to say there are a few things in your heart that you have bandaged up only to find a terribly infected wound hidden underneath?  Jesus didn't die so we could be covered in emotional and mental band-aids, He died so that we could be healed and made whole.   

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -- I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." - Robert Frost